Winnipeg Zombie Walk 2011

Photographic Evidence by Nikki Basset.

There was a zombie outbreak on Friday.  The point of origin seemed to be Stephen Juba Park.  Two of my friends and I drove right into the swarm as it writhed down Waterfront Drive.  We were stuck there, as the undead relentlessly clawed at my car.

My friend made the unfortunate mistake of rolling down his window to see if there was an end to the sea of ghouls in sight.  He was immediately attacked and bitten.  We got the zombie off him (who was kind enough to apologize for any blood she may have gotten on him) and rolled up the window.  I saw an opening in the swarm, so I stepped on the gas and we got out of there.

My car had taken a beating, the windows were smeared with blood.  We decided to head out on foot, hoping to find someone who could help my friend.

We made it to The Forks, but the zombies got there first.  They seemed to be gathering there, the sounds of their collective moans sent chills up my spine.  The place was a wreck.  Innocent shoppers were mercilessly attacked.

Oddly, I saw some zombies feasting on snacks from the food court.  They must have been desperate as the amount of them greatly surpassed the amount of humans to feast on.

We found a man in a doctor's outfit, and I thought there might be some hope for my infected friend.  But the doctor, covered in blood, grabbed my friend and screamed frantically for us to take him to the nearest hospital.  It was only a matter of time before he turned, and the same went for my friend, so we moved on.

We thought our luck had changed when we saw members of the police, the S.W.A.T. team, and the army.  But we quickly realized they had all been turned to members of the undead.  The only uninfected we saw seemed to be church goers with signs that said things like "The End Is Nigh" and "God Hates Zombies".  The only survivors were the prepared.

The Forks were overrun.  We headed to Osborne, with the entire zombie mob in pursuit.  There must have been over 1200 of them by now.  My friend was in bad shape.  I knew he couldn't make it much further, so we ducked into Ozzys.  Unfortunately, the place was filled with infected.

Things looked bad, we weren't going to make it out.  Just then, this horrible sound began.  It was like music, but remixed to be full of bass and rapidly repeated beats.  I'm told it was called 'dubstep'.  It was intolerable to the human ear, but when the zombies heard it... they began to dance.

So the DJ saved my life, and the outbreak seems to have been quelled.  Of course my friend eventually turned.  I now keep him chained up in my tool shed.  Perhaps next year, I'll let him roam free for a night.